Settling Everything
by musab shamali
Summary: Takes place after the season five finale. Sam and Callen are fine and have returned safely, but everything is not right between Deeks and Kensi. To remedy the situation, Deeks goes to great lengths to help Kensi, even at great personal sacrifice to himself.
1. Chapter 1

AN: okay this is a new story for Densi I hope you guys like it, I'd love to hear what you think about it.

The whole team was working on their reports for the day, trying to finish as quickly as they could. Sam left first; he wanted to be with his family as much as he could, especially after what had happened, and had worked extra hard to complete his report expediently. Callen was the second to leave, having received a call from Joelle, which left just Kensi and Deeks alone in the bullpen.

Kensi was still quietly simmering over her jealousy at what had happened earlier today with Agent Del Campo, who had clearly been all over her partner. Kensi was embarrassed by what she'd done in the boatshed with the DEA agent, how she fell into that war over Deeks, and how pathetic she must have looked at the moment. She knew that her partner wasn't interested in Talia—he'd even told her that—but the insecurities she felt was what had made her do what she did. She wanted to show Deeks that she was here and that she was ready for them—'their thing'—to continue. She'd wanted to show Deeks that she was beautiful and that he didn't need to look at Talia, but the problem was that Deeks already knew that. He'd even told her… and what had she done in return? She'd punched him! 'Oh God,' Kensi thought to herself, feeling even more embarrassment flood her at that thought.

What had her really worried was that Deeks was silent, and had been since they'd returned to the Mission. He hadn't said a word, and she finally decided that she needed to know what was on her partner's mind. "Are you okay Deeks?"

He looked up at her. "Yeah, I'm good. Why are you asking?" His eyes returned to his report and he wrote something down.

"It's just, you haven't said anything since we got back here." She explained.

"I'm just tired, and I still haven't finished my report." Deeks tried to reassure her.

"Okay. So burgers and beers at my place?" She decided to change the subject; she didn't believe him, but maybe she could get him to talk at dinner.

"Maybe some other time. Like I said, I'm pretty tired and still need to finish this report and there's more paperwork that I need to finish before I leave. After that, all I want is to crash on my bed." He saw the moment when disappointment flashed across her face, and he wanted to say yes to her offer, but he couldn't do that… not after what had happened.

Kensi did her best to shrug her disappointment off and gave her partner a confused look, but he didn't meet her gaze. "Yeah, okay. Goodnight partner. See you tomorrow." She stood and gathered her things, preparing to leave.

"Goodnight." Deeks replied, and with that, Kensi left the Mission and Deeks returned to his report with a sigh.

It was midnight when Deeks finally finished his report and the rest of his paperwork. He made sure everything on his desk was organized and took bag and stood up to leave, only to leap up in the air. "Hetty!" What are you doing here? I thought you were in DC?!" Deeks exclaimed, trying to calm his breathing.

"I finished my meeting there and I have returned, but I think the real question is what are YOU still doing here, Mr. Deeks?" Hetty replied calmly.

"Uh, I was finishing my paperwork." Deeks replied, avoiding eye contact.

"Is there anything I should know Mr. Deeks?" Hetty eyed him with her scary eyes.

Deeks swallowed hard. "Actually, there is something you need to know, Hetty."

"Care to explain Mr. Deeks?"

He took a deep breath. "I want to resign and return to the LAPD." Deeks stated flatly, trying to keep the emotion out of his voice.

Hetty was unable to conceal her shock. "Did something happen while I was in DC?" She asked worriedly.

"No." Was his only reply.

"Ah. I see. So it has something to do with Kensi?" Hetty asked, putting the pieces together.

Deeks averted his eyes from Hetty's stare and shifted nervously, but said nothing.

"What happened between you two?" Hetty pressed.

"Nothing happened between us."

"And that's the problem?"

"No."

"Then what IS the problem Mr. Deeks? You can't just resign like this." Hetty stated firmly, pushing him to tell her what was wrong.

"There is no problem Hetty! It's just that I want to go back to the LAPD. That's it!" He told her firmly, trying to convey that he didn't want to discuss this anymore.

"Okay." Hetty sighed. "Think about it for a couple of weeks, and if you still want this, I will not try to stop you." Hetty bargained.

Deeks nodded and started to walk past her before stopping. "There is one more thing." He added, not turning around.

"What is it?" Hetty inquired, also not turning.

"I know you can do it, so I would like you to get Jack back from Afghanistan."

"And why would I do that if the C.I.A. wants him dead? It's not safe for him here."

Deeks chuckled. "I know that you have the connections to get him here and make sure that no one, not even the C.I.A., looks for him. You can convince them to let him go." Deeks clarified, convinced that the petite woman could handle things.

Hetty smiled to herself. "I can do that, but the question is WHY would I do that?"

"Because it will make her happy." Deeks stated simply, not needing to explain who the 'her' was.

"I'll see what I can do." Hetty replied, before walking to her office. She didn't know what to feel: admiration and respect for Deeks for putting Kensi's happiness before his own, or sadness at what he must feel by doing all of this. Giving the love of his life to someone else and breaking his heart in the process all happening no too long after he'd been tortured… but it was all going to depend on Kensi's decision.

Deeks was sitting on his couch, a beer in his hand, considering what he'd just done. Had he made the right call? Or the wrong one? To him, he felt like this had been the right one because it was the only one that made sense after all that had happened in Afghanistan.

In the beginning he was ready to do anything to get Kensi back; he was willing to go back to the LAPD if that meant she'd come back to him, and when he'd learned that she'd been taken by the Taliban… he'd almost lost it. He'd wanted to burn the whole earth just to get her back.

He'd gone with the team to Afghanistan to rescue her, and he'd tried to go with them to look for her, but Callen and Sam stopped him. The moment they started to negotiate with the clerk to try and get information on Kensi and gotten nothing, anger began a slow, deep burn within him. Then Hetty had given him the news about Kensi's murder… and when he saw the picture… that was the last straw.

He lost it. Right then and there, and he unleashed all of his anger on the clerk. All he'd wanted at that moment was to get Kensi's body back. Then they'd realized that the clerk was the father of someone important in the Taliban, and they'd used him to get Kensi and—unexpectedly—Jack back.

But what hurt him the most was when he'd gotten on the plane and found Kensi in Jack's arms as they flew them to a camp to be checked out there, while Deeks and the others waited for another plane.

As soon as Deeks' plane had landed, he'd leapt out and searched for Kensi, only to have his heart smashed when he saw them hugging… when Kensi and Jack had pulled apart she still clung to his arms and had asked him if she would ever see him again; it was like she wanted him to come back with her, if only it hadn't been for the C.I.A. agents who were still looking to eliminate him.

Deeks had hoped it was just a passing moment between two old lovers who'd been engaged, but then he'd gotten back to LA and by chance seen the video that she'd sent to Ops… and then he knew that what they had wasn't as strong as he'd thought. It was for him, but he knew it wasn't for her. He found out that she had let herself get captured just to talk to Jack, and then all she'd had to say to them—her team—was "It was an honor working with you." She hadn't said anything to Deeks. Nothing. Even when she knew she was most likely going to die, she had nothing to tell him. Apparently, he was just the second choice. Jack was the first. It was heart breaking for him to realize this, and then subsequently ask Hetty to bring Jack back, but if it was going to Make Kensi happy and give her the chance to live the life she'd wanted, whatever the price was he was willing to pay it. He was willing to sacrifice his own happiness for her, no questions asked. He would die for her, for God sake.

This was the right decision. He knew Hetty would be able to get the C.I.A. off of Jack's back and that Kensi would then have the chance to continue what those two had missed in the past. He would have stayed to work with her, but he knew he couldn't do that. It would break his heart to see her every day, knowing that she would never be his. Just thinking about that hurt. He wouldn't be able to handle it in person.

He finished his drink in silence before heading to bed.

Meanwhile, while all of this was going through Deeks' mind, Kensi was sitting on her couch. She'd gone straight home after work, taken a shower, and turned on the TV, but she hadn't paid an ounce of attention to it since then; she was lost in her thoughts.

Why had Deeks acted like that? She thought they were getting back on track with their friendship, and she thought they were going to be able to discuss their 'thing,' since she'd been ripped from him the last time they'd tried and they hadn't had time to say anything—not even time to say goodbye.

But the last couple of weeks Deeks had been acting differently. He was staying silent for long periods of time, and he wouldn't talk unless someone spoke to him. Even their nights of hanging out were becoming fewer and far between—she felt like they were growing apart with each passing day and she was already feeling his absence in her life.

'What did you think would happen?' She thought to herself. 'He broke up with you. He wants to move on! But he said that raccoons mate for life… he was talking about us, right? He gave me the knife back so we can have some time to think about what we want.' She argued back and forth in her head until her thoughts were cut short by a knock on the door. She stood to see who was there, deep down hoping it would be Deeks, but, as soon as she opened the door, her hopes were dashed. It was Hetty. "Hetty!" Kensi greeted, confused.


	2. Chapter 2

"Hello Ms. Blye. May I come in?"

"Yeah, sure." Kensi stepped out of the way to let her boss in. When Hetty'd settled on the couch, Kensi asked, "Can I get you anything Hetty?"

"No need, Ms. Blye. I just came to talk to you."

"Is something wrong?"

"Actually there is. You need to know about why I sent you to Afghanistan." Hetty told her calmly, not missing her Agent's sharp intake of breath.

"What do you mean Hetty?" Kensi demanded, trying to hide her shaking hands.

Hetty informed Kensi about the mission she'd been sent to do, and why Hetty had chosen her to do it. It had been to help Jack and keep him away from the C.I.A. It hadn't been her intention to get Kensi in harm's way, but she'd known that Kensi wouldn't take the shot.

Kensi was getting angrier with each word out of Hetty's mouth. She'd never thought that her boss would do such a thing, that Hetty would put her in that situation and use her emotions against her. She was on the verge of tears, but she closed her eyes tightly to prevent them from falling. She'd thought that she'd been sent there because of what was happening between her and Deeks. "How could you do this Hetty? You used me! You made me feel it was because of Deeks and me! You used my weakness against me Hetty. You know that I almost got myself killed, and if it hadn't been for the others—who also risked their lives to save me—I wouldn't be here! How could you do this Hetty?" Kensi's voice raised close to a shout, though she tried to tamp it down.

"I'm sorry, my dear. I didn't think you would do what you did; I thought you were going to track him down and find out everything you could, then tell him to hide. I NEVER thought that it would do that to you, that you would be so desperate to talk to him that you would get yourself captured in order to do that. I never intended any harm to come to you. I knew it would hurt your feelings, but I thought you would understand after you learned of everything. It turned out I was wrong. He caused you more damage, and I cannot truly convey how sorry I am for that." Hetty explained, regretful.

Kensi's tears were falling freely now; she couldn't stop them, not even if she wanted to. She felt betrayed and she couldn't think of anyone that she wanted by her side now, except for Deeks—but he didn't want to be around her and that hurt.

Sobs racked her body; she'd been used to do things that had forced her to return to the time she'd been left by Jack—the first time she'd felt lost and abandoned and there was no one to put the pieces back together.

"I'll leave you alone now." Hetty murmured, standing.

Kensi barely nodded as the petite woman walked by her and out the door, leaving a crying Kensi crumpled on the couch. "One last thing, Ms. Blye." Hetty called over her shoulder. "Keep an eye on your partner."

"What do you mean? What's wrong with Deeks?" Kensi called after her boss, but the woman was already gone.

A COUPLE DAYS LATER

Deeks walked into the Mission after a surfing session at the beach. Having not caught much sleep the night before, he swayed a little before settling at his desk. He noticed that Kensi had puffy eyes that were slightly red, and he made a note to himself to ask her if she was all right later. He dropped his bag and then headed for Hetty's office.

"What's wrong with Deeks?" Callen asked to no one in particular.

"Yeah, he didn't even say good morning." Sam added, before both his and Callen's attention turned to the third member of their team. "Kens?" Sam called. They'd both noticed how poorly she looked, but they'd written it off as a bad day, but then Deeks had come in and acted weirdly, and they began to suspect that something had happened between the two.

"What?" Kensi snapped.

"Do you know what's wrong with Deeks?" Sam asked again.

"No." She replied shortly, glaring at them and daring them to continue the discussion.

In Hetty's office…

"Ah, good morning Mr. Deeks. Have a seat." She motioned to the chair.

Deeks sat. "So. What happened?"

"What do you mean, Mr. Deeks? You just asked two days ago." She retorted.

"I know you've already made your calls, so what happened?"

Hetty clasped her hands. "The C.I.A. agreed to take him off of their hit list as long as he stays in line and doesn't raise any red flags."

Deeks snorted. "Hetty, he's Muslim; anything he does the C.I.A. will consider it as a red flag. You know that."

"I know that, but they were informed of this and I assure you that they will never get to him. What more do you need than that?"

"Just make sure she will be happy." Deeks murmured.

"I don't think that will happen." She informed in sincerely.

"And why is that?"

"Because she won't have the one she cares about the most." Hetty replied simply.

That elicited a bitter chuckle from Deeks. "She won't need someone she cares about when she gets the one she loves back." He stood to leave.

"But she won't get him back if you leave." Hetty replied calmly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Deeks demanded angrily. "You said Jack is free from the C.I.A. now and that you'd be able to convince him to come back."

"Oh I'm going to bring him back, but not for the reason you think. He is going to come here and you will see that he is not the one that Kensi loves; you will see that he is not her happily ever after. I am only bringing him because you wouldn't believe that Ms. Blye is not in love with Mr. Simon unless you see it for yourself."

A slightly confused look passed over his face. "Yeah. Right. You just wait and see when he comes back how it will be between them." His eyes betrayed the bitterness he was feeling inside. He wanted Kensi to have a happy life with jack, but that didn't meant that he, Deeks, had to be happy about it. What he truly wanted was for her to be happy with him, because she was his one—his raccoon—and he couldn't imagine himself with anyone else… but that couldn't happen in this life.

"We shall see." Hetty agreed verbally, though for very different reasons than Deeks. As her agent left the office, she picked up the phone to make contact with Jack.

Deeks returned to his desk, and since he had no paperwork left to do, he got out his phone and began fiddling with it.

An hour later, Deeks got up and headed to the gym to workout instead of sitting mindlessly doing nothing. He needed to release some of the tension in his body. He went directly to the punching bag and started hitting it. A small sense of relief came over him; while sitting at his desk, no one had said a word, and he was grateful for that, but it just helped to build the tension in the bullpen until he couldn't stand it anymore.

When he finished in the gym, he quickly showered before heading back towards the bullpen, but the moment he exited the locker room, he was met by Hetty. "Hey Hetty, what's up?" He was concerned by the look in her eyes.

"Everything is fine, Mr. Deeks. I just came here to tell you that Mr. Simon will be in L.A. tomorrow morning. There will be someone to pick him up from the airport and take him to the boatshed. He will be there at 8. Do you know what you will do?" Hetty inquired curiously, to which Deeks just nodded his head and walked past her.

The rest of the day passed just as the morning had: in silences. There were no cases to fill up the dead air that surrounded them. Kensi was doing her paperwork, but everyone could see that she would space out every now and then. The senior agents didn't dare say anything because they could feel the electricity in the air, so the remained silent. They didn't move from their place except for when it was lunch time, and it was Callen's turn to get the food; Sam left to workout.

It remained the same until everyone left in the evening. It had been one of the weirdest days at the Mission, even though it was just spend doing paperwork. They all bid each other good night, saying "see you on Monday," or "enjoy the weekend," because it was Friday and they had been given a two day break.

In the morning, Deeks awoke early. He grabbed his surfboard and headed to the beach where he spent two blissful hours surfing. When he finished, he quickly changed into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and headed for his partner's house.

Kensi was supposed to be sleeping, since they were off, but for some reason she was up early—in truth she knew why she wasn't sleeping, she knew what the problem was that had kept her up all night and awakened her early—but she didn't want to think about it. Instead, she changed into her running gear. When she got back, she showered and was about to make coffee when she was interrupted by a knock on the door. Looking at the clock, it was only 7:30. Wary, she grabbed her gun and headed to the door. When she saw it was Deeks, a smile tugged at her face, but she wiped it away before opening the door.

"Hey Deeks! What are you doing here so early?" Kensi greeted casually. When she saw the surfboard on his car, she felt a little excitement bubble up inside her at the thought that Deeks might want her to go with him to the beach.

"Hey," Deeks handed her a cup of coffee, "get dressed. You are needed at the boatshed."

"The boatshed? Do we have a case?" Kensi asked, trying to hide her disappointment.

"No, there is no case. You are just needed at the boatshed."

"Is something wrong, Deeks?" She asked worriedly.

"Nope. Nothing's wrong. No need to worry, just get dressed." He assured her, flashing one of his smiles.

"Okay, well, come on in while I change."

"I'll just wait here."

She nodded before walking to the bedroom and quickly changing. She knew that something was wrong, but she couldn't put her finger on what, exactly. All she knew was that her partner was acting weirdly and that was making her worry.

Ten minutes later she was in the car with Deeks, heading to the boatshed.

"So… you going to tell me what's going on? Or are you just going to stay silent?"

"You'll find out when you get there." He reassured her. "It's only ten minutes. Just relax."

"Like that's gonna happen." She grumbled to herself.

"Did you say something?"

"Nope. Nothing." She sat back in the seat to wait.

When they arrived at the boatshed and got out of the car, Deeks was hesitant as to whether or not he should go in or not.

"Are you coming?" Kensi looked back at him.

"Yeah…" He answered, walking with her to the door.

She entered the room and stopped abruptly. "Jack."


	3. Chapter 3

Jack turned towards her, a little girl standing beside him, and smiled. He walked towards her and enveloped her in a bear hug. "Hey Kensi!" He greeted after they broke apart.

Kensi turned and glanced at Deeks. He had a smile on his face, but his eyes were full of pain. He was trying to hold himself together, but she could see right through it; this was hurting him, and he was the one to bring here to meet Jack. She turned back to Jack and the little girl. "What are you doing here, Jack?"

"Hetty called me and told me that she'd settled everything with the C.I.A. I'm no longer on their hit list. She convinced me to come back to the U.S. with Angel, the light of my life." He introduced the little girl, his daughter, to Kensi.

"Hey Angel, I'm Kensi. I'm one of Daddy's friends." She held out her hand to the little girl who took it and shook it shyly. Looking at Jack she asked, "So are you back for good?"

"Yes."

"I'm just gonna leave you two to…" Deeks called, trailing off as they both turned to look at him. He left quickly before Kensi could say, or do, anything.

Kensi and Jack sat for an hour talking and catching up, then Hetty walked in. Jack stood and greeted Hetty, thanking her for what she'd done for him, then they both sat back down to discuss things.

"Okay Hetty, what do you need us for? Why did you tell Deeks to bring me here?"

"Oh? Mr. Deeks didn't tell you about all of this?" Hetty indicated their small circle.

"What do you mean? What's going on?" Kensi asked, confused.

"Mr. Simon, as you may have noticed, there is a beach outside that you can take your daughter to." Hetty told him politely, though it was quite clear that it was an order for him to leave.

Jack nodded and took Angel's hand, leading her out the door.

Kensi looked at Hetty, waiting for an explanation for the whole thing; she wanted to know what the hell was going on.

"All of this was Mr. Deeks idea—" Hetty began, but was cut off by Kensi.

"What?! What do you mean this was Deeks' idea?" Kensi demanded, even more confused, and a little hurt.

"It appears that Mr. Deeks thinks you still have feelings for Mr. Simon, so he believed that you should have the chance to be with him."

"What?!" Kensi exclaimed, shocked. "How the hell did he get that stupid idea? And when the hall did all of this happen?" Kensi was practically yelling she was so annoyed and offended by her idiot partner's actions.

"I think he got the idea when he saw the video you sent to us after he came back from Afghanistan. I think he was angry and hurt when he found out you got yourself captured by the Taliban just so you could talk with Mr. Simon. Deeks got the picture; that you didn't think about him when you did all of that, you were just thinking about Jack and you sacrificed your life for him. How do you think that made him feel?" Hetty said bluntly, making tears gather in the corner of her eyes at the thought of what Deeks had gone through because of her.

"And all of this happened the day I came to your house." Hetty continued. "That night, I came to the Mission around midnight and found Deeks sitting at his desk. We spoke for a little while and he requested that I bring Jack bask so that you both could get the happy ending you deserve. He believes he is not the one you have feelings for. He was stubborn enough that I conceded and brought Jack here for two reasons: first, it is safer for him and his daughter, here, and second, to show Deeks that you no longer have that kind of feelings for Jack." Hetty finished.

"So Deeks told you to get Jack back because he thinks I'm still in love with him." Kensi stated, receiving a confirming nod from Hetty. Tears made slow tracks down her cheeks. "And Jack is here because he thinks that there is going to be something between him and me?"

"No. Mr. Simon doesn't know anything about this; all he knows is that he is free and it would be safer for him and his daughter, here. Deeks wanted to give you the change to continue what you want."

"But that's not what I want!" Kensi exclaimed.

"I know, my dear, and I told that to Mr. Deeks." Hetty murmured.

Kensi tried to wipe the tears away but they just kept coming. The more she thought about what Deeks had done because he'd thought it was what she wanted, and how much it must have pained him to do it, he'd still put his feelings for her aside and done what he'd thought would make her happy. He was giving up so much just to give her a happy ending, but little did he know that her happy ending was with him. Not Jack. Not anyone else.

"This, of course, had me worried." Hetty confided. "If you look at the year he just had, you will see that he had a pretty crappy one, what with all of the troubles with Sam, and the torture he was put through at the hands of Sidorov…" Kensi grimaced at the mention of that and she recalled the look of pain on his face when he'd asked her to cut him loose and she'd just let him there. "And then just as he was getting steady on his feet, I ripped his partner—who at that moment was everything to him—away from him. Then he learned you were kidnapped and he tortured a clerk to find you." Kensi gasped at the image of her partner doing all of that for her. "And then he comes back and figures out why what happened to you, happened, and he chose to give you up to Mr. Simon, not caring about how it would break him more." Real sobs began racking her body. "And to make matters worse, that night he told me that he wanted to resign." Hetty stated, not missing the sharp intake of breath from the woman across the table. "But, I told him to think about it for two weeks, and it he still wants that, then I would grant it. That is why I told you to keep an eye on him, because if he goes back to the L.A.P.D. he won't recover."

Kensi didn't know what to feel about her partner. Pain, hurt, disappointment, anger, happiness, respect, all of these were swirling around inside of her, because her partner was doing all of this for her… he was sacrificing so much for her, and only because of how idiotic she'd been. She needed to solve this now. She stood up. "I've got to go, Hetty."

"I know. Go, my dear. I'll deal with Mr. Simon." Hetty's approval was her cue to leave.

She raced to the door when she realized she didn't have a car, as she'd come with Deeks. When she turned around, Hetty was already tossing her keys towards Kensi. "Thank you Hetty!" She yelled over her shoulder as she rushed out the door.

As Kensi drove the streets of L.A. to her partner's apartment, a lot of thoughts were running through her mind. How idiotic her partner had been! How could he do this to her? Before she knew it, she was parking in front of his apartment. She was relieved when she saw his car. She walked to his door and started knocking. When the door opened, Deeks was standing in front of her.

"Kensi!" Deeks said confused. "What are you doing here?"

At that, Kensi's anger came to the front. "Who the hell are you to decide what's good for me? You broke up with me, don't you remember!" She yelled, punching him in the shoulder. "Don't I have a say in what makes me happy? Or is it always you who gets to do that?" She gave him another punch. "If you don't want to be with me, that's fine! But don't push me into things that I don't want!" She finished in a hushed tone, tears streaking down her cheeks.

Deeks got frustrated. "I didn't break up with you, Kensi! You were the one who broke up with me! And all that I've done is because I thought it would make you happy."

"What?" She demanded, shocked. "When did I break up with you? You were the one who gave me back the knife!" Kensi retorted, irritated.

"Are you kidding me? With everything you have done, you're asking me that?! After I saw you in Jack's arms, snuggled to his chest on the helicopter?" Deeks' voice was laced with anger. "Oh, and not to mention when we got back to the camp and you were clinging to him and asking if you would see him again. Then he left and you wouldn't even look at me! You just kept following his retreating figure with your eyes… do you know how much that hurt? Imagine seeing the person you care most ignoring you and longing for someone else." His voice had softened to a murmur, hurt evident in its tones.

Kensi's heart broke at his words and at what she'd caused him. She was about to say something when he continued.

"And to make matters worse, I saw the video you sent to Ops! I found out that you got yourself captured just so you could be with Jack and you didn't even say goodbye to me… you said nothing, though you knew you were probably going to die. Do I mean nothing to you? Was it that bad between us that you went running back to Jack?"

"You idiot!" Kensi yelled, grabbing him and pinning him against the wall. "You know nothing! Why didn't you come and ask me about all of this? YOU are the best thing that has happened to me in my life! How could you think that I would go running back to Jack because I love him? There is nothing between him and me!

I went after him because it was the only way to save him. I missed him when I shot on purpose because no matter what happened to him, I knew him and I knew he would never be a traitor. If I hadn't gone after him, they wouldn't stop until he was killed. I know there were some other reasons that I went after him; I just wanted to know how the hell he'd gotten himself into all of that, and that was the only way to get that done. I knew I was going to die, but I was on a mission and I had to get it done." She paused to catch her breath before plunging on. "A couple of nights ago Hetty came to my house and explained everything to me… about why she sent me there, and I yelled at her for using me like that, for letting me think that what happened between us," she gestured to Deeks and herself, "was the reason I got reassigned.

And about the video I sent to Ops… what you were waiting for me to say… I know what to say, I just couldn't say it in front of everyone else. I didn't think the words would be enough… I didn't want the last thing I said to you to be said like that. You were the foremost thought in my mind… you were the thing that made that choice so difficult. So don't ever think that you don't mean anything to me. It was killing me to not be able to say anything to you. You are the only thing that kept me sane since I've met you! I can't risk losing you! So when you gave me the knife, I thought I should give you the time to get everything settled before we continue our thing."

Deeks took a deep breath, trying to calm himself and let everything Kensi was saying settle into his mind. His face was full of emotion, and he didn't know what to say or do. It had been hard enough and now all of these complications… he didn't want to get his hopes up only for them to be crushed later. He needed to know where he stood. "Okay, so what's all of this mean?"

That finally brought a smile to her face. "That means, you are a big idiot, I just told you that you are the best thing that has happened in my life! I'm telling you that I don't care about Jack or anyone else; I was just waiting for you to figure things out and come back to me. Do I need to say more?"

"After everything that's happened, Kensi, I can't take anymore metaphors." He ran his fingers through his hair. "I need you to tell me exactly where I stand because I really don't know anymore… I'm a little lost." He admitted.

"Then let me guide you to what you want most in your life." Kensi murmured, relaxing closer to him. "Take my hand to come to me, don't just push me away… don't give me up because that would kill me, not give me my happy ending." She leaned in and captured his lips with hers. It was a soft kiss and Deeks returned it gently. 'God he missed those lips so much,' he thought to himself as he caught her hand on one of his and placed the other behind her neck. Kensi's other hand went to his chest and grabbed a handful of his shirt, pulling him closer.

When they pulled apart, Kensi had the biggest smile on her face. "By the way, why did you give me the knife back?"

"Like I said, I thought you broke up with me and that you didn't want to be with me so I thought I should give it back to the person it belongs to." He explained.

She smiled and slapped him lightly on the back of the head. "You idiot. The knife belongs to me and I belong to you, therefore anything that belongs to me belongs to you!" She murmured, kissing him more passionately.

When they needed air, they pulled apart. "Is that so, partner?" He asked with a teasing smile on his face. A look of anger on Kensi's face, though, made the smile disappear. Before he could say anything, she punched him hard on the shoulder. "Aww, what was that for?" He demanded, rubbing his shoulder.

"That's for being a bigger idiot than I thought you were! What were you thinking when you told Hetty that you wanted to resign? And coming up with this stupid idea of yours?"

His features softened and he pulled her closer, but she kept her jaw set, not giving up. "I'm sorry, Princess. You know that I'm a stupid partner that doesn't have a brain to use in the first place." He said smiling, causing her to chuckle. Then he closed the gap between them and gave her a deep kiss that blew their minds.

"So," he asked after a minute, "are we good now?"

"We are MORE than good." She assured him, taking his hand and guiding him to the bedroom where their new life would begin. They would be sure to make it a great one, and live it out to the fullest, not missing anything.


End file.
